study – Just Any Al-Anon

Things to think about, share about, and explore.

What’s the difference between … ?

consideration courtesy compassion caring	codependence managing others’ feelings
acceptance	accepting unacceptable behavior
boundaries	controlling others
suggestion carrying the message	advice
confiding sharing news	gossiping
letting go	being a doormat
working the steps	step study thinking about the steps
accepting responsibility for my behavior	accepting responsibility for other people’s feelings
communicating clearly	making someone understand
taking responsibility	controlling outcomes
care giving	caretaking
open meeting	closed meeting
love empathy	pity
self care keeping the focus on myself	selfishness self-will
parenting helping being a good relative, friend, neighbor service	enabling doing for others what they can do for themselves control
surrender	submission resignation
want	need
loving interchange	crosstalk
amends	apologies
Al-Anon	therapy
a spiritual program	a religious program
HP’s will	my will
intuition	stinkin’ thinkin’
detachment	cutting off estrangement
privacy	dishonesty lying by omission evasion secrecy

Can you think of more differences to explore? Please feel free to share!

Somebody expressed to me one time a concern about a step study meeting. It wasn’t spelled out very clearly that the meeting was for studying the steps, rather than working them. So, what is the difference between doing step study and working the steps? Here are a few:

Step Study	Working the Steps
Involves developing as complete as possible an understanding of how to work the step, why work the step, and what the desired benefits of the step are.	Involves taking action to accomplish the steps. May include study as a component for each step, but study does not replace the need for action.
Can be done: At group meetings With one or more Al-a-Pals With your sponsor Alone	Should be done with your sponsor, with some tasks on your own or with an Al-a-Pal. You work out with your sponsor which tasks these are and when to do them.
Can be done at whatever pace you choose.	Should be done at whatever pace you agree to with your sponsor.
Should be done with Conference Approved Literature (CAL), although what an individual uses for their own benefit is strictly up to the individual and may include other sources. Any Al-Anon activities such as group study need to use CAL exclusively.	Should be done with Conference Approved Literature (CAL), although what an individual uses for their own benefit is strictly up to the individual and may include other sources. You and your sponsor work out which materials to work from.

“Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities."

What’s the Difference?

Differences Between Step Study and Working the Steps