Did you know there’s an app for that? 10th Step Spot Check Inventory is an Android app that is meant to help you do exactly what it says on the wrapper.
When an incident occurs and feelings are hurt, I need to inventory it for my part and make whatever amends are appropriate. I need to also take care of myself. Some of the amends I might owe may be toward me. Here are some questions I am asking myself to help inventory the incident:
- Did I engage in unacceptable behavior?
- Did the other person engage in unacceptable behavior?
- Did I have acceptance?
- Did I maintain detachment?
- Did I maintain my boundaries?
- What was my part that led up to the incident?
- What can I do to make amends for my part?
- Am I expecting the other person to make amends for their part? Is that appropriate?
- Did I presume goodwill? Do I presume goodwill now?
- Have I been trying to make someone else responsible for my feelings?
- Have I been assuming responsibility for someone else’s feelings?
- What can I do right now to take care of myself?