Oh for Pete’s sake! I’m so frustrated with myself. Just got off the phone with my sponsor and discovered I’ve forgotten some fundamentals of prioritizing my life despite having this diagram on my cube wall:
I’ve been putting daily things first. And I’ve been letting less important stuff derail my important stuff. I haven’t been calling my sponsor. I haven’t been staying in touch with family members. When my life becomes unmanageable, it usually means I haven’t been paying attention to the first three steps, summarized as, “I can’t, You can, and I’ll let You.”
I’ve been praying for my HP to let me know His will for me, but I haven’t been listening. It’s time to work on meditation.
Also there’s an incident that happened early in my marriage that I continue to have recurring fears about. My sponsor pointed out to me that my recurring fears about it may be due to similar circumstances in my distant past. If so, I need to take a long look at those. Is there a pattern? What is it? What choices do I keep making that leads to the reiteration of the pattern? Why do I make those choices? Can I make different choices?
Le sigh. Hard work ahead.