Author: Any Al-Anon

HP’s Career Plan?

Posted on by Any Al-Anon

The other day while praying at the beginning of a work week, I had a revelation that was so astonishing to me. I pray by writing, and I was at the end of the notebook. So a couple of days later, as I began to forget what I had learned, I dug the notebook back out and reread the entry. Now I’m keeping it out so I can read it as often as I need to. Here are some excerpts.

One thing I need to ask You about. You know how I feel about annual review. My manager thinks it’s entirely normal to use the Flag Down Somebody method of training, and to take well over a year doing it. I don’t like it. For one thing it’s not my learning style. For another, and I know I’m being judgmental, it’s stupidly inefficient and wasteful! I probably need to let that second thing go because plainly the company is fine with it and the very nature of my irritation signals a desire to control.

I have choices. I probably have lots of choices but two that are obvious are:

1) Stay in this position and go all in on [software].

2) Throw myself into cloud and try to get stolen by another team.

Throwing myself into [one cloud] has not gone all that well so far. It’s really hard. And I can’t do it on my on-duty time. I have to devote that to [software]. I don’t like [software]. [One cloud] is hard. I heard [two other clouds] are just as hard. I am talking the certification exams, not the platforms themselves. …

I have such a lack of acceptance of this team. There is no camaraderie, no rapport. If I stay, could I help with that? Is that what You want of me? Does it look more attractive because it looks easier than [one cloud]? I surely could do without the stress of studying [one cloud] all the time. It’s starting to look like I should go all in on [software] and [database]. Maybe I can learn to see this (stupid!!!) training method as a period of grace and gentleness that is a gift from You to me right now. Did You do that? Did You arrange a slacker job for me so that I could recharge and recoup and get through menopause with this hormone brain and be okay? Have I tripped over one of Your blessings and failed to notice because I’ve been complaining about not being useful? Have I found my answer, then? Did You do this for me? Then I must turn my energies to [software] and [database] and make the most of this. I will cancel the [one cloud] exam. Thank You for this blessing! I am sorry I didn’t see it right away. May I make best use of it and be a help to others. Thy will, not mine, be done. Amen.

So, each day I need to remember to stop criticizing the training and the team. How can I Let It Begin With Me? Can I reach out more to team members in honest exchange? Can I greet them daily, ask questions, thank them? Can I say great things about them when they are helpful to me and skip criticizing when they are not? Can I work harder on developing the training materials that I wish existed already? Can I leave work behind when duty hours are over and instead love my life?

I believe I can do all these things. But it requires setting aside my obsessions and judgments. That’s the part I need a lot more practice with.

Thy Will – A Prayer Song – Another Arrangement

Posted on by Any Al-Anon

Finally recorded an audio version, arranged differently than when last posted. Feel free to use however you like.

Thy Will

I decide
To turn my will and my life
Over to Your care

I decide
To turn my will and my life
Over to Your care

I pray only
For knowledge of Your will for me
And power
To carry it out

I pray only
For knowledge of Your will for me
And power
To carry it out

God, please
Grant me serenity
To accept the things
I cannot change

God, please
Grant me courage
To change the things
I can

God, please
Grant me wisdom
To know what
The difference is

God, please
May Thy will
Not mine
Be done

Thy will
Not mine
Be done

Thy will
Not mine
Be done

Amen

Irritability

Posted on by Any Al-Anon

I keep forgetting to consider that my changing biology could be a factor in my irritability. Most of my adult life, I could have as much coffee as I liked. A few weeks ago I started getting the jitters if I had more than two. Last week I got the jitters after only two. So now it’s one. Will it soon be zero? Could the jitters be related to irritability? Could my symptom be a physical one rather than a spiritual one?

Notes From a Meeting

Posted on by Any Al-Anon
  • My will is an investment, and in the past I didn’t invest it very well. But if I invest it into my HP’s will, my HP will invest in me.
  • Superman doesn’t just hang out with kryptonite.
  • Gratitude is a salve. Apply liberally.
  • In the three Cs, if there’s a fourth C that is “contribute” – how am I contributing? If it’s negative, it’s C minor. If it’s positive, it’s C major and that changes everything.
  • The concept of abundance also applies to time.
  • Note to self: add “please” to Serenity Prayer.

Thy Will – A Prayer Song

Posted on by Any Al-Anon

I decide
To turn my will and my life
Over to Your care

I pray only
For knowledge of Your will for me
And power
To carry it out

Thy will
Not mine
Be done

God, please
Grant me serenity
To accept the things
I cannot change

God, please
Grant me courage
To change the things
I can

God, please
Grant me wisdom
To know what
The difference is

God, May
Thy will
Not mine
Be done

I pray only
For knowledge of Your will for me
And power
To carry it out

I decide
To turn my will and my life
Over to Your care

Thy will
Not mine
Be done

90 Meetings in 90 Days

Posted on by Any Al-Anon

I’ve lately been irritable and unreasonable and out of touch with my program, so I’m doing 90 meetings in 90 days, which is ridiculously easy in the Zoom-and-Covid era. If you wanna do that too, here’s one place to find meetings. Another thing is to Google Al-Anon Zoom meetings and you’ll get lots of district and area results from all around. A lot of these meetings are not listed at WSO as electronic meetings, so you can expand the number of meetings you know about hugely by doing this.

Obsession

Posted on by Any Al-Anon

I’ve just had a massive obsession attack because I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving this site all effed up. And it was all effed up. I hate BoldGrid very much and now I hate WordPress in general too. I really have to find some other thing next time I want to launch a blog. I only chose WP because I knew it was easy to import from Blogger into it, and that held true. The import bit was ridiculously easy. The rest really wasn’t.

I need to be able to give myself permission to let an effed up thing lie around like that when I have higher priorities waiting.

Why Doesn’t God Take Away My Pain?

Posted on by Any Al-Anon

Sometimes I hear people lament that they have prayed for God to take away their pain, but God doesn’t do it.

Why would God take away pain?

I can’t speak about your Higher Power, so all of this is about God as I understand God. I don’t think God is in the analgesic business.

The Creator created pain too, and very intentionally. The Creator knew that beings would sometimes be sick or injured. How to let them know they need to do things to take care of themselves and each other? How about a mechanism to create discomfort until the situation is handled?

That’s what pain is.

Sure there will be times that pain occurs and there’s nothing we can do to heal or fix whatever is wrong. The Creator gave us substances, intelligence to process them, and intelligence to create more for this eventuality. No, they don’t always work. Nothing always works.

In the end, the final relief is that all things are temporary, even life itself.

If you find yourself in pain, have you done all the things to seek healing? Are you sure? Did people suggest things that you refuse to try? Could you possibly be in denial that you need healing?

My experience with chronic pain sufferers who have indeed done all the things is that they are more at peace with their pain than they were before the did all the things. And maybe that’s a bit of healing, too.

So, do what is necessary to heal. And maybe that is, after all, how God takes away the pain.